Another year gone by

Well. I really am terrible at this. It's been a year since my last post. Life sure does change a lot in a year. Geez, my future has changed a lot just in the last week.... a year is SO LONG.

Josh is still with LaborReady and he's still going to school full time on top of his 50-60 hour work week. He's not loving it any more than he was last year, but I wouldn't say that he's hating it any more either. I guess that's a good thing. He recently got back from a three day trip to San Francisco for a thingy with work and it seemed to build his happiness a little bit. That's a good thing. :)

Lelah is doing great. She started at the Montessori school in October. (After our trip to Maui for Nathan and Josie's wedding) We love the school. I'm IN LOVE with it. It's the most amazing thing, and I just can't say enough about it. She goes from 9am until 3:30 pm Monday through Friday. It's kind of expensive and was a bit of a stress on our money situation but it's SO WORTH IT. I told Josh the other day that if I had say in where every pre-school age child we know went, I would choose this school for them. I can't think of a better way for them to start out their school career than this. Lelah's teacher is great, I love all of the teachers really, but Lelah's teacher especially is really nice. She's really strict but really nice and I'm so pleased with the school. Lelah is counting to 20, can sing her ABC's, multiple different songs- including Fifty Nifty United States & a song about the continents, most of her colors.... it's so amazing. She will go there until she goes into the 1st grade. The very first day she started she made a best friend. They are so sweet together, and I'm so pleased that she has such a kindred spirit in her life. (Wow, that sounded very Anne of Green Gables-ish, but I'm serious.) They really love eachother and it's so fun to watch little girl bestfriend-hood. It's ironic who the best friend is. Josh started working part time as a consultant/barista at Red Leaf in Kelso and it happens to be the owners daughter, Emily. The teacher even seemed to be amazed at how "attracted" they were to eachother from that very first day. It makes me happy and I hope that Lelah has found a lifelong friend. I recently realized that Desi holds such a special place in my heart because she knows SO much about my life- not because I told her but because she was there for it. Old friends are so special! Anyway. So Lelah loves everything pink, animal-related and frilly. Her favorite thing to wear to school is her "fancy boots" and her tutus. Seriously. She has these gigantic tutus that she wears every single week to school... if I had to guess how many yards of fabric was used to make them I would guess 10. She looks adorable though, let me tell you! One day before Christmas Logan and Lelah decided they were going to go "hunting" and Lelah went out in Logan's old Romeos "hunting" with her tutu on and her hair in braids. She's the cutest thing. She loves all things girly, but also playing with brother. :D

Logan is still going to school at CVG, but I think (I hope) this is the last year for that. I should be thanking my lucky stars that he has been placed in the best elementary school in the area, but I'm really not that pleased with it. I LOVE LOVE love his teacher but am still very disappointed in the school as a whole. Josh and I live such a different lifestyle and have such a different parenting style that I think we've gone so far from 'normal' that we just can't be happy with something that has such an intense "for the herd" mentality. It doesn't help that we're so thrilled with Lelah's school either. :( BUT just because we aren't happy with the school doesn't mean that's all I have to say about Mr. Logan. He's adorable as ever, pretty talkative and has a great imagination. I'm a little disappointed that we let him start watching TV because I would sure love to hear what his imagination would be like without all the comic book heroes and cartoons jading it. :( Live and learn, I guess. I've recently (this week actually) stopped letting him watch TV in the morning before school. It was a tough switch after most of this school year being filled with morning movies/cartoons/games.... but I think I'm going to stick with it because it makes the whole getting-ready process so much easier. He still really enjoys playing outside and today he even played out there in the torrential downpour. :) I know that probably makes me seem like a terrible parent in a lot of people's eyes, I truly think it's the right thing to let him do. He enjoys it, he's breathing fresh air and I can change him into dry clothes when he's done. :D The other day he came in from playing outside really excited yelling, "I found a bunch of eggs!!!" I went outside, to that area right outside the breezeway door that we don't use and there was a beautiful nest that the ducks (oh by the way, we have a duck- had two until last weekend when one of them was killed by something) had built and laid 23 eggs. TWENTY-THREE! I floated them all in cold water and none of them floated.... I guess that means I actually tested them. I also have been breaking them open into a bowl.... all of them are fine. I think because of our cold-ish weather, they kept fine. So neat! Logan was so excited and so proud of himself. :D I was pretty excited too, come to think of it. :)

So. Back in December we had a parent/teacher conference with Logan's teacher (Mrs. Hartley), the principle and Logan's reading teacher. I have to say now, before I go into the rest of this that I LOVE his teacher. And his reading teacher for that matter.... but his regular teacher is a complete angel and nothing anyone can say about her can change my mind. Not that anyone HAS said anything about her.... but I just needed to say that. I love her, and I wish that I could make her my friend somehow. She's a really nice and sincere person. I hope that we run across a lot of teachers like her in Logan's and Lelah's school life. She's amazing. The reading teacher was really sweet as well, but I haven't dealt with her nearly as much so I can't speak so highly of her. She's very sweet, very caring and very genuine. I hate the principle. I HATE her. I hope that I never have to talk to her again except to say that I don't like her. Ugh. Maybe 'hate' is too strong of a word. I don't like her-very much- but I suppose I don't literally hate her. :/ So.... Josh and I had decided after our first parent/teacher conference that we thought Logan should take 1st grade again. I know that makes us sound like terrible parents (wait, I see a trend here....) but Logan really seems to be doing better this year, but not to a 1st grader level. I feel like we placed him in school a year too early and I have this laundry list of examples of why I think that. Anyway. I expressed this to the angelic Mrs. Hartley and the first thing out of the devilish principles mouth was that "Retention is not something we talk about in December; it's something we talk about in May." (Well thank you for that *^%&# face, but we tried that last May and you poo-pooed it then too! Ugh!) It was an awesome way to start out the meeting, let me tell you! After she explained that 'retention' is the very worst idea that the public educational system had ever tried, we moved on to how they thought that Logan had an attention disorder.... disease..... problem? I don't remember how they worded it. Josh and I have been bracing ourselves for this conversation for years so we really weren't that surprised but it tasted bad after the *^%&# face attacked me about the best parenting idea I've ever come up with. So we have the ball rolling to have him 'diagnosed' for that. I have to mention how ironic it is that the evaluation that Josh and I and the teacher are supposed to fill out has a logo of a pharmaceutical company on the bottom of it. Gee, I wonder what this totally un-biased evaluation is going to find? (I wish I could insert an angry face here.) :( They seem to think that his problems are stemming from this disorder. DISORDER! That's what they called it. Well, glad I figured that out. Anyway, so they think that he isn't reaching his full potential because of this *disorder* and that having him evaluated (and surely diagnosed) that somehow will help him. Josh was quick to point out that we WILL NOT even consider using any kind of medication, but there are other ways to "help" so maybe this is a good step. I don't know. What I know is that I, the mother of Logan, do not want to have him diagnosed with anything. I don't want to admit that anything is wrong with my baby or that his life might be a tad more difficult than the average kids. :'( That being said.... I don't think that a public school is the right place for Logan. Whether he has a *disorder* or not- this whole herd mentality thing is starting to piss me off. Seriously... it sucks. :( Again.... seeing the way they do it at the Montessori school doesn't help my already strong beliefs. :( So.......

Did you wonder what made me start this blog back up? Well, this is it. I'm going to stop going to school. Seems like a random thing to say mid-story about Logan and his school, right? It's not. It's actually really connected. I'm quitting school to get a job. We are unsure what my job will be, but we've decided that it's necessary for me to get one to pay for the school we want Logan to go to next year. There is a private school in Kelso called Family House (or something like that) that Josh and I think would really fit the bill for Logan and his needs. They have a more child-centered approach and that is amazingly promising in my eyes. Again.... I feel like Lelah's school has changed my life and I can't tell you how much I regret/hate myself/wish I could rewind life for not taking Logan there for preschool. I can not even imagine how different his school life would be if we would have done that for him. Ugh. :'( All we can do now though is fix our mistake. So... this is the closest thing we have in town to the amazingness of the Montessori school and Josh has been telling me for years how much he loves the lady who owns it. Even before we were married he told me that he wanted our kids to go there someday..... so, I guess his wish came true. (Even if it was a wish he didn't put any thought into.) I sent off the email to express our interest in being on the waiting list, so we'll see what happens from there. We're both a little concerned with the school being "Christian-based" but Lelah's teacher put my mind at ease about it after we talked. As for the job thing.... I'm having a hard time figuring that out. I originally wanted to get a real job. Like one where I show up, work, leave, have a pay day. You know, that kind of thing? But after a few thing happening with the kids (that it was very convenient that I could come right to them) Josh and I are now thinking that we need to be a little more creative with how I make the money to pay for Logan's school. (Not to mention the things that my financial aid from school paid for that I won't be getting anymore. Oh, oh... I should mention that my car will finally be paid off come April, so that's one less $400 bill we have to worry about. :D) Josh thinks I should "sell something" again. I'm unsure about that. I'm thinking Pampered Chef might be fun... but I'm nervous that I won't do well with that. Josh also thinks that I should market myself as a doula better. I'm unsure about that also. My dream job would be one that I work from about 9:30ish until about 2:30ish Monday through Friday. Seriously... that would be perfect. I would need the summer off too. :/ Difficult and impossible is what that is. Ugh.

Oh, and about me stopping with school.... I'm happy with this decision. Really. It won't be forever. I know that for sure. But I really need a break. Maybe once we are all in the swing of things I can start back up come winter quarter next year. But for now I'm burnt out and I need a break. A good break.

Phew. that was a long update. And there is still so much more. Since I'm not going to be focusing so much of my time and energy on school, I'm going to attempt keeping this blog up. Afterall.... if I'm going to be a real life stay at home mom, I might as well do something to record my children's lives as kids. ;)